Danny the Tank

Things have taken an odd turn this morning. Looked out the window and saw a bloke lying in the road, he'd been run over. Right over his stomach, burst him in the middle. Looked like he had been hit by a giant red paintball. John & I went outside to look. It was Danny the Tank, big fat tosser who worked on the door in a club in Town. Totally radgy,

He was still moving, as soon as he saw us he rolled over and started pulling himself towards with his arms. But his legs and his hips stayed were they were. He came totally apart in the middle. He was dragging himself along with his guts & intenstines dragging along behind. Skin the colour or porridge. He has mental. Just growling and groaning at us and pulling himself along. He should have been dead. John said he saw a lung fall out. That's not good.

We'd had enough and legged it indoors. Locked the front door. But Dan kept coming. He's now banging against the door (at the bottom), we've put the chain on. John's trying to speak to Dan through the letter box, but he's just moaning. Can't get any sense. Tried phoning for an ambulance but the line's dead. Phoned NHS Direct, but they told me to take Dan to his GP on Monday morning.